It Tis What It Tis

I wish everyone could realize the power in your own mindset. After watching "The Secret" last year, I was overcome by the power of thinking something into fruition. Now, I think most of "The Secret" is nuts, but I also think that there is something to be said about being positive and visualizing.

I think about negative people. They are always complaining and wishing things were different for themselves. But negative begets negative, people! I will never forget my sissy, Katie, asking me if I thought she was an Eeyore.  I didn't quite understand at first. She explained that an Eeyore is one who is always complaining and feeling sorry for themselves. These are the people that usually, pardon my French, have SUCKY lives due to their own pity parties. They are people who are so caught up in negativity that they cannot see the blessings and beauty that God has put right in front of their eyes.

You may wonder why I chose to write this now. Well, after careful Facebook observation (during grad class- Ahhhhh, I miss the days of playing Snood instead of listening at Franciscan) I have seen that negative people are all around and their disease is contagious. I get that we have to vent about our misfortunes, but PUBLICLY? Come on, peeps! We are better than that.

I must say, to the outsider, my life looks like a steaming pile of rancid you-know-what. BUT I AM HAPPY.... I am not only satisfied but I think I have the best husband, best kids, best job, best sisters and brothers, best parents, best nieces and nephews, best EVERYTHING! My life is chaotic (not the Britney version) but there is beauty in the breakdown (Ahhh, Garden State). BE PRESENT in your own life. My sister bought me a thankful journal back when I found out I was preggo with Kolbe (my darkest time, thus far) and Matthew and I religiously fill out a couple things we are grateful for. We never go more than a couple weeks without being thankful (usually every other day) and it is on the counter for frequent use.

This is not to say that I don't have days where I should stay in bed all day so I don't infect others with negativity. Believe you me, there are times when I hide in the bathroom/closet/room/behind the couch. The only difference between myself and an Eeyore is that I chose not to write about it on Facebook (unless it is a funny story) and I even chose not to tell my family about it.

Car repairs, home repairs, losing things, kids doing dumb things, spouses being STUPID (never mine, lol), siblings being mean, etc. WILL HAPPEN. I chose to move past that stuff rather quickly. I chose to not wallow in my own self pity. I chose to move on to the amazing things that God wants me to focus on so I don't lose focus of Him as number one. I think of a sweet friend from college, Shelly, who has a child that has significant struggles and she seems so positive. Or another friend from college, Lindsey, who just had MAJOR complications during childbirth and is EXTREMELY positive.

It is no surprise that when I miss mass (yes, I admit occasionally I make excuses to not go because toddlers are just SO wonderful in mass) or when I need to wash my soul clean of mortal or venial sins through confesh, I am cranky. I am a lesser wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, teacher. When I am not praying the way I should, not living out my vocation of love the way I should, or not remembering that a thankful heart is a happy heart (Thanks, VeggieTales) I am broken and need to quick tune up.

Moral of the story: Choose your own adventure (Just don't open the door or you will fall to your imminent death----- that is a 80's/90's reference to the book series in case you didn't get it) Write positive things on your facebook/blog DAILY. Get over bad things quick and revel in good things for longer periods of time. Watch TED talks and start writing in a Thankful Journal (Thanks, Katie).

Lots of Love, Home Slicies! God is good all the time, all the time God is good!

The week before I go back to work, I would like to review the reasons why I love being a working mom (or, maybe this is to make myself feel better).

1. I know my husband is home with the kids and we are blessed enough not to need daycare (saves us over $2,000 a month). He teaches my children responsibility, respect, integrity, how to have fun, cleanliness, and most important: how to enjoy family.

2. I have a job that allows some flexibility. Since I am a teacher, I go to school at 7 and I can be home by 3, if needed. Now, most days I stay until 4ish, but I can come home. This comes in handy when training my tatas to feed 5 times a day instead of 7. By the end of the day, I will be swollen and walking like a zombie (all who have breastfed ought to know this feeling). I do have to work at night grading, planning, etc. but this is after my children go to sleep so I am not giving up what precious weekday time I have with them.

3. I love teaching children to be lovers of knowledge. Nothing is better than having a child who could care less about school, start to care. When the stars align and this happens, you are on top of the world. It is all worth it when a child who struggles shows you his work with a giant smile on his face.

4. If it wasn't me, it would be someone else. If I was not in the classroom, someone else,who may not be as scheduled, organized, and loving, might be. This is a scary thought and happens all too often. Some go into teaching to reap the benefits (time off, short hours-obviously you are doing something wrong if there are short hours! lol). And these people might be in your child's classroom teaching them how to be inquisitive and creative, or really teaching them to just "get by".

5. I very rarely take for granted my children. Because I am away for most of their waking hours, I am SO excited to see them in the evenings. They greet me with a smile, scream "Mommy", and come running to the door. This makes it better. On days that I don't work, I, all too often, spend too much time in front of screens or doing chores and I wind up ignoring my kiddos.

6. It helps to keep us on a schedule and this makes for order in a home. Some ask, "How do you do it with four kids under three"? My reply is easy. I do not do anything extra. I may not participate in the church bake sale, or offer to watch my nieces and nephews (sorry, Katie), but this is what we need to do to get by. I do not over promise because I want to enjoy my time with my kids and not rush my life away with obligations that aren't necessary.

7. Absence makes the house look cleaner. The old adage is changed to fit my lifestyle. After being off work and actually seeing my husband during the week, I realize the traditional adage is flawed for us, so I changed it. The more I see him, the more I want to see him. I get mad when he wants to do chores or fix things around the house because that takes him away from me. Although I hate being away from my hubster, when I am, I get more done. When we are together, we just want to watch entire series on Netflix and pig out.

Overall, I am excited to start back to work and get our family back on schedule. I am excited to see my little love muffins (students). I am extremely sad to be away from my silly Rocky, sweet Kolbe, cuddly Zoe, and precious Molly, but here's to counting down the days till Spring Break! Aren't they presh?

To Shop or Not to Shop?

Alright. I am a creature of habit. My best habit of all... SHOPPING. Since we are getting our debt down, I am currently only in the market for window shopping, but shopping none the less. I am obsessed. I get nervous if I only have an hour. Let's just be honest here, I get nervous if I only have three hours. So going to the mall is a must while on maternity leave.

When Kolbe was born, I went to the mall 1 week post-partum with him in the Bjorn and Rocky in his stroller. Success!

But, now I have four little munchee-chees and I am a bit nervous. Not only for the actual excursion but for the preparation. You see, when you look young and have many children, people look at you and think, "OMG, she needs to STOP having babies" or "Poor, little girl. All those kids". When in reality, I am stoked to have my pretty young thangs in tote! I also must make them look beautiful and matched and primped to the nines because those same people are the ones who see Rocky's long and luxurious locks and say, "Wow, she doesn't even comb her kids hair". Why, yes ma'am, I do comb my boy's hair, it is just so beautiful and I am not such a woman as Delilah.

When Matthew and I went on our first outing with all four kiddos, I was in sweats and felt all eyes on us. Maybe that was just my insecurity but I felt as if people were judging me. I immediately came home and cut Kolbe's outlandishly, curly locks to make him look more "presentable".

I guess I just have to get over it but it definitely seems as if our society values the cover rather than the book. I care too much about what people think and I know that. I just wish people realized that my kids are well behaved, have manners, and will one day be your kids' bosses... THANK YOU VERY MUCH! hee hee hee ;)

My wonderful friend Shelly gave me the courage to try going by myself with all the chili beans! So, here goes nothing. I will letcha know how it goes.

Dual Nursing

Alrighty, this post is a long time coming (almost three weeks to be more exact). I decided that I would nurse the twins as long as was manageable. Nursing Rocky was awful. I frequently pumped pink milk (TMI) and I would cry when Matthew would bring him to me to feed. Needless to say, this did not encourage a strong mother-son bond between he and I. If it weren't for "breastfeeding bullies", I might have had a stronger bond with Rock a lot earlier. Not to say that I didn't love him, but it was hard when I was in pain whenever he nursed. He was a puker. He would throw up after every feeding.

I decided to give it another go with Kolbe. This time, he latched perfectly. But, after two weeks, he started projectile vomiting. I tried getting rid of dairy and soy but nothing worked. I continued to nurse for 6 months (along with some supplementing during school-teachers cannot pump and come home at a decent hour to their families). This time was a dream come true. I loved nursing him and cried when I stopped.

 

Now comes the twins. I nursed them individually for the first week to make sure that their latch was correct and to get them used to nursing. Then I started tandem nursing. I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it came to me. They latched better because they had to work a little harder for it. I also found that they usually burped right during feeding! This was an amazing discovery since I HATE burping but for my pukers it is quite necessary and even the difference between a clean feed and a messy, need-a-new-shirt feed. The only weird thing is that Molly needs less than Zoe. It makes sense because of how active Zoe is compared to Molly but it still surprised me. I wish I could post a video but I find it quite inappropriate considering my occupation (I can just see it... "Mrs. Reynolds, I saw your boobs online"... No, thank you!). But if anyone is curious or interested, come visit around 3, 6, 9, or 12... It is something of a miracle. After all, we are given two... Lol. I have always produced massive amounts of milk. I think God was preparing me. This fact, thanks to my good Nurse friend from college, might be the reason I have pukers. I may be giving them too much! We shall see!

 

Wish me good luck and keep those prayers coming. Matthew starts twilight shift soon so he can be with me at night and I start back to work in a month. Matthew is still working third shift and it helps my mindset when I know I am in charge of everything. I organize things so feedings go smoothly. I am hoping Matthew and I do not kill each other when he switches. Co-parenting is a lot harder. When I am by myself, I get a lot more done and I know I HAVE to do everything. Sharing responsibilities is just not an option. We still won't see each other (I will get home from school at 4 and he will go immediately out the door to work until 11), but I will have my hubby by my side at night and in the morning to help with getting the kids situated with breakfast, diaper changes, and brushing teeth.

 

I love my bigger family. I love that I have given my children the gift of built-in best friends and shoulders to cry on. I am blessed beyond measure... just don't ask me to hang out for two or three years! ;)

 

 

12 Takes for 2012

1. This year I was able to accept others kindness and love with an open heart. I was able to accept help and gifts from generous people without thinking their help and gifts were because I "needed" it.

 

2. My husband is amazing. Whether he was planning/implementing my Baby Moon, taking over with the boys and the house, he did it with love and this showed me that he knows how hard it was for me to let some of these things go and let him take over. It helps that he knows my love language of acts of service! ;)

 

3. My boys are becoming best friends who choose to hang out with each other. Sure they fight, but usually they show really care for one another.

 

4. Zoe Darlene

 

 

5. Molly Maria

 

 

6. My wonderful siblings who are So caring. It is so good to have such a big family so that when you are mad at one of them, you have others to lean on.

 

7. My sister, Katie, who has taken on the role of mentor for me. She has helped me let go and realize that accepting others' kindness is allowing them to act on behalf of the Lord. My sister, Mary, for her constant support. We are VERY similar (with home/financial/marriage/children). This helps us to encourage one another and be a sound board for complaints and compliments. My sister, Annie. She is such a bright light of joy. Her caring and understanding personality makes her accepting of all and helps teach me to do the same.

 

8. My parents for their help this year. They helped us to buy our new van because of the generosity. They will never know how much I need them (even though I don't show it) or love them. I am amazed by their life together and they help me to make positive decisions in regards to my marriage and family.

 

9. My in-laws. They have done so much to make sure our transition to twins was positive and easy. They made sure that we did not have to worry about the unimportant things in order that we focus on what truly matters most... our family.

 

10. My job. I have a true family in the school I work at. They are amazing. They even cared enough to set up a "diaper fund" for us because we have 4 under three and they are all in diapers! Not to mention my awesome 4th grade teammates who have taken the reigns while I baked the twins. I did not EVER have to worry about school while I was off work.

 

11. My church. For encouraging me to make hard decisions because they are right. To always allow me to make my own decisions but reminds me to NEVER make excuses to justify making the wrong decisions. I have a church that has withstood the test of time. I have a church that I am in love with and that makes COMPLETE sense. It doesn't change with the times and it is not popular. Anything worth doing is probably going to be difficult.

 

12. Dave Ramsey. He has made an impact on my family's mentality of money and debt. He has made me a financially responsible person who is prepared for things to not go as planned (i.e. pregnant with twins!). Now it is difficult to walk into Target knowing that I cannot even buy the top on sale for $5.98, but it is good to know I have control over knowing what is truly a need and what is most definitely a want.

 

Happy New Year!

The TMI Labor Post...

Well, it has officially been 6 days since the birth of my little miracles. Zoe Darlene was born first at 1:36 pm weighing in at 5lbs. 7 oz. and 18 in. long. Molly Maria was born second at 1:51 pm. She was the exact same weight and length as her sister.

I got my epidural early (Oh, yeah!). At around 1:15 my midwife (Nancy Shirey=amazing) told me I was 100% effaced and 7 cm. dialated. She said she would come back in a bit after she made arrangements for her appointments and did a couple of things. Two minutes after she left the room, I turned to my mother-in-law and asked her to get Nancy because they were coming... and VERY fast!

Nancy came back in and we started to the operating room. I had to give birth in the OR because of the potential to have a c-section (something that might break me with a two year old and one year old at home). We got in the room and I started to get prepped to push. My amazing husband stood by my side calming me and telling me how amazing I was. My epidural was allowing me to feel. This made pushing a bit easier because I could feel more of what I was doing. I pushed little Zoe out after she got stuck for what seemed like an awfully painful eternity. Then came Molly. She had turned breech while Zoe made her way out. My midwife knew that I did not want a c-section if I could help it because of the recovery I would face. She called in another doctor (Barry Campbell) who does breech extractions. He was about to go into another surgery but popped in to save my LIFE! He used the ultrasound machine to grab Molly by the feet and pull her out. This one was scary and could have been bad, but, thank God, things went well. The AMAZING news is that I did not need an episiotomy so my healing was insanely different. Although I had immense contractions after the birth (my uterus shrinking to its once small size) this only lasted two more days after we were released. God is good and knew that I could only handle so much. Throughout this whole pregnancy, even with everyone telling me how insane we were for having 4 under three, I knew God would provide. I have such faith in my God and I know he will provide, if I do my best and pray for guidance.

Matthew and I took advantage of the nurseryso that we could enjoy going home and be comletely well rested and ready to make Christmas memories. We came home and the boys reactions were priceless. My mom and mother-in-law were there and I couldn't have been happier.

These past three days at home have been a blessing. The ease at which we made this transition is unbelieveable. My husband is the best swaddler is the world and participates 100% because he WANTS to be involved and share this gift of crazy responsibility. I am overcome and my cup runneth over. He is, in SO many ways, like St. Joseph. Providing for the Blessed Mother and Jesus without any regard to himself.

Reflections On What It Is To Have Twins

1. Being able to buy your children things does not guarantee they will be good people. This is hard for many to understand. In our society, people think if you don't pay for college for your children, you are not a good parent. Being a parent means nurturing and loving your child. Teaching them how to be loving and encouraging to ALL. Teaching them to never judge others and to instill in them patience. Putting food on the table and clothes on their backs is a must but going out to eat all the time and eating brand name food is not.

2. Cooking two is WAY different than cooking one. It is VERY painful toward the end. I am complaining more (which I have been very diligent about not doing this pregnancy). I can barely walk. When I do feel only a little pain, I tend to be too active (which I pay for the next day). I have terrible restless leg during the night and can rarely sleep.

3. It is VERY humbling. I have had to accept a lot of help that I normally would rather die than accept. I am a firm believer in taking care of things on your own and only asking for help when you absolutely NEED it. Asking my husband to get the roll that has fallen at my feet because I am in too much pain to bend down is humbling to say the least. Not being able to go anywhere with the boys (walks, the mall, over to their cousins' to play, etc.) is terrible. Having to deal with a messy house or laundry piling up is not fun either. It makes it easier when your kind hearted mother-in-law or sister come over to bring a meal and a conversation.

4. If you have a GREAT husband, it is easier. Luckily, I was blessed with an amazing man. One who consistently talks about how wonderful I am (even though I am crazy). One who chooses to drive our family van instead of our car because he likes it. A man who gets upset at me when he thinks I do too much. Someone who does his best to take on ALL of the household responsibilities because I am worthless. And a guy, who chooses to fore go his activities (watching football, making music, hanging out with friends) because he genuinely likes his family best and wants to be with us.

5. I have the most AMAZING sons. They keep themselves entertained while Mama relaxes (or tries to) on the couch. They keep fighting to a minimum because they know Mama is not doing well. They comfort me by asking "You okay, Mama" and scratching my back while I am bent over a toilet. They offer me water when I am sad and then ask "You feel better, Mama". My sons comfort me when I am whining about how sore I am or what pain I am in.

6. I cannot wait to have these twins so that I can get sleep (sounds crazy but from cramping to restless leg, I get almost none) and be able to walk in the land of the living and not stay couped up in our house during gloomy and dark winter months!