The TMI Labor Post...

Well, it has officially been 6 days since the birth of my little miracles. Zoe Darlene was born first at 1:36 pm weighing in at 5lbs. 7 oz. and 18 in. long. Molly Maria was born second at 1:51 pm. She was the exact same weight and length as her sister.

I got my epidural early (Oh, yeah!). At around 1:15 my midwife (Nancy Shirey=amazing) told me I was 100% effaced and 7 cm. dialated. She said she would come back in a bit after she made arrangements for her appointments and did a couple of things. Two minutes after she left the room, I turned to my mother-in-law and asked her to get Nancy because they were coming... and VERY fast!

Nancy came back in and we started to the operating room. I had to give birth in the OR because of the potential to have a c-section (something that might break me with a two year old and one year old at home). We got in the room and I started to get prepped to push. My amazing husband stood by my side calming me and telling me how amazing I was. My epidural was allowing me to feel. This made pushing a bit easier because I could feel more of what I was doing. I pushed little Zoe out after she got stuck for what seemed like an awfully painful eternity. Then came Molly. She had turned breech while Zoe made her way out. My midwife knew that I did not want a c-section if I could help it because of the recovery I would face. She called in another doctor (Barry Campbell) who does breech extractions. He was about to go into another surgery but popped in to save my LIFE! He used the ultrasound machine to grab Molly by the feet and pull her out. This one was scary and could have been bad, but, thank God, things went well. The AMAZING news is that I did not need an episiotomy so my healing was insanely different. Although I had immense contractions after the birth (my uterus shrinking to its once small size) this only lasted two more days after we were released. God is good and knew that I could only handle so much. Throughout this whole pregnancy, even with everyone telling me how insane we were for having 4 under three, I knew God would provide. I have such faith in my God and I know he will provide, if I do my best and pray for guidance.

Matthew and I took advantage of the nurseryso that we could enjoy going home and be comletely well rested and ready to make Christmas memories. We came home and the boys reactions were priceless. My mom and mother-in-law were there and I couldn't have been happier.

These past three days at home have been a blessing. The ease at which we made this transition is unbelieveable. My husband is the best swaddler is the world and participates 100% because he WANTS to be involved and share this gift of crazy responsibility. I am overcome and my cup runneth over. He is, in SO many ways, like St. Joseph. Providing for the Blessed Mother and Jesus without any regard to himself.

Reflections On What It Is To Have Twins

1. Being able to buy your children things does not guarantee they will be good people. This is hard for many to understand. In our society, people think if you don't pay for college for your children, you are not a good parent. Being a parent means nurturing and loving your child. Teaching them how to be loving and encouraging to ALL. Teaching them to never judge others and to instill in them patience. Putting food on the table and clothes on their backs is a must but going out to eat all the time and eating brand name food is not.

2. Cooking two is WAY different than cooking one. It is VERY painful toward the end. I am complaining more (which I have been very diligent about not doing this pregnancy). I can barely walk. When I do feel only a little pain, I tend to be too active (which I pay for the next day). I have terrible restless leg during the night and can rarely sleep.

3. It is VERY humbling. I have had to accept a lot of help that I normally would rather die than accept. I am a firm believer in taking care of things on your own and only asking for help when you absolutely NEED it. Asking my husband to get the roll that has fallen at my feet because I am in too much pain to bend down is humbling to say the least. Not being able to go anywhere with the boys (walks, the mall, over to their cousins' to play, etc.) is terrible. Having to deal with a messy house or laundry piling up is not fun either. It makes it easier when your kind hearted mother-in-law or sister come over to bring a meal and a conversation.

4. If you have a GREAT husband, it is easier. Luckily, I was blessed with an amazing man. One who consistently talks about how wonderful I am (even though I am crazy). One who chooses to drive our family van instead of our car because he likes it. A man who gets upset at me when he thinks I do too much. Someone who does his best to take on ALL of the household responsibilities because I am worthless. And a guy, who chooses to fore go his activities (watching football, making music, hanging out with friends) because he genuinely likes his family best and wants to be with us.

5. I have the most AMAZING sons. They keep themselves entertained while Mama relaxes (or tries to) on the couch. They keep fighting to a minimum because they know Mama is not doing well. They comfort me by asking "You okay, Mama" and scratching my back while I am bent over a toilet. They offer me water when I am sad and then ask "You feel better, Mama". My sons comfort me when I am whining about how sore I am or what pain I am in.

6. I cannot wait to have these twins so that I can get sleep (sounds crazy but from cramping to restless leg, I get almost none) and be able to walk in the land of the living and not stay couped up in our house during gloomy and dark winter months!

7 Quick Takes at 34 Weeks

1.

We went to the doctor yesterday because the previous night I was having HORRIBLE cramping. Everything looks A-Okay... Good for the girls but sad for me! I also found out that I passed the 20 lbs mark for weight gain... always a fun experience.The girls are head down! This means that my chance of a c-section is smaller! I am so happy because giving birth is interesting and awesome.

2.

I am so thankful to my family. I can count on them for ANYTHING! My sister and mother-in-law have been taking turns making meals for our family. This has been unreal and extremely helpful considering my control freak, perfectionist atiitude and the fact that I need to be resting on the couch ALL DAY.

3.

This brings me to my husband. He has had to take over with the boys, house, and taking care of me, as well. This is not an easy task. It is especially hard when he knows what a control freak I am and that I am thinking about how much faster I could do things or how much more efficient I could be. This is sometimes the case (because, again, I am a control freak, perfectionist, ungrateful person soemtimes) but, mostly, it is NOT TRUE AT ALL. I cannot believe all he has done for us.

4.

I love that my child wears the dinosaur hat that his cousin let him borrow ALL DAY long. He looks so sweet!

5.

I need to get more prayer in during this Advent season. I notice that I am more judgemental and irritable when I am not praying the way I should (also, I am 3985 weeks pregnant and EXTREMELY uncomfortable). Time to crack down and get some Jesus in my life! lol.

6.

I am embarassed at how much I play the Facebook game "Bubble Witch".

7.

I hate the Kroger giftcard commercials SO MUCH because I cannot get it out of my head and this contributes to my insomnia.

33 Weeks

Dear Babies,

This month has, by far, been the hardest. You are running out of room quickly because Mama is so short. Your brothers are starting to get really excited! Although Kolbe doesn't really understand, Rocky is excited to hold his "sistahs".

You are probably weighing in at about 4-5 lbs. I am hoping 5 because I want you chubby and healthy and able to leave the hospital with you! I am a bit nervous for that. If you come too early, you will be hooked up to machines and need to stay longer than Mommy and Daddy. This is just unacceptable!

Your hiccups come and go but you both are getting so big that Mama is in A LOT of pain and can rarely sleep because her legs feel like they have a mind of their own!

Grammy and Grammy Sherry are hard atwork making your nursery something special. All of your Bell County relatives wanted to do something special for you so they are planning some fun and practical things for your room (including PINK CRIBS!).

You both scared Daddy this week when you moved. His hand was on my belly and you moved and he jumped up out of his seat! It was hilarious!

Your lungs are finishing developing so you should be able to breathe on your own if you come next week or after!

I love you both and pray for you faith in God. NEVER WORRY! It is like paying interest on a loan you have not taken out yet. Thank you for coming into our lives when you did because I needed you!

The Start of Week 32

It has been a while and a whirlwind of events. Since it is Thanksgiving, I thought it appropriate to focus on my thankfuls.

Being a parent is so difficult... But, not really, if your mantra becomes, "There is no me, only you". When we became young parents, we made the decision to live life a certain way. We chose to live out God's Plan for our family and we know what that means. It means that we will not ever be rich but we will be financially responsible. Afterall, NO ONE on their deathbed talks about how much money they wish they had, but they wish for more family and more time with their family. We will always be busy and sometimes have to leave things undone. We will always be overwhelmed so it would be easier to smile and laugh about misfortune and NEVER make it anyone else's problem. We knew people would judge us and have rude comments to say about the size of our awesome family behind our backs and to our faces. We also know that our kids are the ones people are going to want running things in the future because of how we raise them. And we know that at the end of our lives, they will be there along with their kids giving us a glimpse at our legacies.

I am thankful to my girls. This is the first pregnancy that I have accepted with open arms. The first pregnancy that I have not been scared. The first one where I am completely and totally on God's side. It feels good.

I am thankful to my boys for making me chill out and stop being such a control freak. Showing me the joys of wrestling and that cuddles from your sons are monumental experiences.

I am thankful to my husband for literally ALL that he is.

Pregnancy Update: The girls hiccup constantly and Zoe's bottom is on Molly's head. I can barely walk because I am so sore. I stopped working last week because I knew that I was trying to "make it through" the day and my students deserved more. Good thing I stopped working because my boys and I had TERRIBLE colds all week and are just now getting over them. Three more weeks and we should be good to pop these babies out safely.

Picture to come later!

7 Quick Takes at 26 Weeks

1. I think it is hilarious that my family spends most of their lives in pajamas. I think being pregnant for three years has made us welcome comfort and home!

2. Political (Skip if you must): After watching the VP debates last night, I think it is illogical to oppose abortion except in cases of incest and rape. If you think it is a life, then if someone takes it, it is murder. Murder is NEVER okay.

3. My husband is a saint for dealing with my crazy exhaustion. He lets me sleep in, cleans the house, cooks for the boys, etc. There is no one better than him and he is why our marriage is amazing and the best in the world.

4. I love my sisters. They are beautiful, insightful, and encourage me to be a better person in EVERY way... that is why having big families is a must, if you can. I learn what qualities I want in myself and, very araely, the ones I do not want. ;)

5. I am so blessed to have God control my life. He has made it so that we are having kids when we have extreme energy. He made it so that they are going to be close in age, which will be easier on us in the future. Hard work when we have the energy, and then we get to enjoy the fruits of our labor (i.e. have indentured servants until they are 18! lol).

6. Sometimes, I still find myself judging other families because I think mine is the best. I understand that this is wrong and definitely not true, but it is hard when we love each other SO much and have incredible amounts of fun. ( I just reread this and it sounds so egotistical, but isn't that what blogs are, anyway?)

7. My belly is so incredibly big that I have a VERY hard time breathing. It is funny, but, on days like today, I remember that even though I am SO happy to be having 4 kids in 3 years, it is a difficult feat that sometimes I need to acknowledge.


*Sorry if this post is pretentious, I am feeling VERY blessed and love my family!

The Boys

This isn't a "Dear Babies" post. Though I love writing to my girls, I need to acknowledge my boys.

Rocky,
 I love that you bow your head and pray at meals and before bed. I love that you brush your teeth better than most. I love that you say, "Hmmmmmm, pray for _______" after our evening prayer. You always add in an inanimate object like the elmo balloon or Madusa monster truck but you always remember either Mama, Daddy, Brubber, or Sistahs. I love that you watch over you little brother by making sure that he has toys if he is sad and trying to ask "You Okay?" in order to make sure nothing is seriously wrong. I love that you are always wanting to cook with Mama. I love that you ask Mama to sleep with you at night by whispering "Yay down, Mama". I love that you squeal when I walk through the door after being at work. I love that you throw your dishes in the sink when you are done with a meal and close doors that are left open. Overall, I love the little things that make you one of the best children ever.

Kolbe,
 My sweet cuddler. I love that you are always giving Daddy giant kisses and hugs (although, I would rather you give them to me). I love that you follow your older brother around like he is already your best friend. I love that you freak out if you cannot find your favorite book. I love that you walk around with a blanket over your head making monster noises to scare us. I love that you cover your mouth when you laugh. I love that you watch college football with such interest and focus. I love your sleepy eyes in the morning. I love that you have full on happy conversations with yourself when you first wake up in the morning. I love that you climb on everything in sight. I love that you dance with more rhythm than your father. I love that you attack your brother with kisses goodnight. I love the way you smile at me like we share a secret. You are very special. The kind of person that everyone wants to know. You are my Kolbe boy and I love you!