Week 15

Dear Babies,

Mommy went to the doctor and they disappointed me by telling me that I had to wait until September for my ultrasound to find out your genders... I am dying! Mama is so excited to find out if your brothers will have more wrestling partners or if is I will have some pretty pink princesses! Ahhh!

This week, you both are the size of an apple! The doctor said that my tummy is measuring 16-18 weeks because you both are SO BIG! Lenny's pulse rate was 145 bpm and Ralph's was 144 bpm. This week, you are beginning to see light. I am told that if Mama shines a light on my belly, you will swim away!

I am praying for your health and sanctity, everyday. Daddy and Mommy are also in the process of looking for a van (we are going to be a six pack as of December). We all love you!

Week 14

Wow, the twins are making me crazy. So much sickness, exhaustion. I realize that I am cooking for two but... WHOA, Nelly! This is insane. I have started feeling Ralph and Lenny (what Matthew affectionately calls them because of them being on the right and left sides :)) move around.

I feel very blessed to have been able to have my nieces and nephews over to my house last night. We made a tarp slip and slide and made sure to use dish soap to increase speed! We had such a great time. I cooked chicken, mac n cheese, and green beans. Cooking for seven kids wasn't all that bad so I am sure that cooking for four will be just fine and dandy... until one of them decides they do not like what I made.

Matthew is, once again, setting the bar extremely high with husbanding... lol. He is trying so hard to deal with my double the hormones. I appreciate him so much. I am starting to get a bit apprehensive about our schedule with the twins. We are already single parents during the week, so I think we will need to really try hard to get in some good 15 minute dates so I don't go crazy. If I wasn't this obsessed with him, I wouldn't care so much! haha.

Anyways, back to the twins. My tummy growing has tapered off. I think I am losing some poundage (because of healthier and smaller meals) in other areas while the babies gain. Ahhhh! I feel so happy to have the twins and be able to burture two children inside of me already! I hate pregnancy so much that this "mother of four under three" should be a cake walk... YEAH RIGHT!

Week 13

At the end of week 13 and it has been a crazy one. With both of my boys I never experiences the crazy cravings that are proverbial of prenatal ventures. Well, it has come two fold (pun definitely intended) with my twins. I made myself a tortilla with honey mustard, cream cheese, bologna, shredded cheese, tomatoes, a pickle and onions. I capped it off with some flamin' hot cheetos and cotton candy. Yikes!

I am a bit less exhausted than I have been. I am thankful for that because I cannot wait to get ready for the new school year. A teacher's favorite time of year is when the center aisle is coated with notebook and crayon displays! My husband has been exceptional recently. Dealing with my complaining and letting my nagging and insults (this pregnancy has made me mean, as well) to the point of sainthood.

The emotional aspect of this week is interesting. This pregnancy has increased my craziness. Like previously stated, I have been a bit of a monster to my husband. I am manic. Extreme happiness and extreme depression. With the boys, I was nicer to him. But he takes it all with a grain of salt and encourages me by singing, "Don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing, gonna be alright"... only when he senses that I won't shoot him a mean look for daring to look optimistically at my craziness. In all reality, I am not that bad, I just am not used to this type of mood swing. I am used to fast paced (my family affectionately calls me "Zero to Sixty") emotional roller coasters, not long and drawn out rides!

I was recently able to see just how blessed we were when talking to a friend. We were discussing the addition of the twins and she told me that when she first heard she could not believe we were already pregnant, much less with twins. She then added, but I see you on facebook all the time and you and Matthew seem like awesome parents. It made me so happy to hear someone with no kids who is probably scared to death about having kids close together say that they thought I was doing a good job.

A note to my twins: I am so excited for you to meet your Daddy. He is a different kind of man. He is goofy, loving, encouraging, and the best partner. Not to mention he is SO VERY handsome. If either of you are boys, I could want nothing more than for you to turn out like Daddy. And if either of you are girls, you couldn't dream up a better husband. I love you and look forward to feeling you move more frequently.

The Day My Life Changed Forever

I walked into my first OBGYN appointment with a very "whatever" attitude. I have done this two times before, in two years. I know the old rigmarole, I got this. I made my first appointment at 11 weeks pregnant. Reason being, I was sick of the excitement of wanting an ultrasound to see my babies and ALWAYS having to wait. The first trimester is "Weight, blood pressure, how are you". Little did I know, this appointment was different.

I want to start off by saying, not complaining (although, I have done much of that this go around), this pregnancy has been wickedly hard. I have been nauseous ALL day long and fatigued to an extreme. I have two little guys at home, which has been the excuse of the degree of this exhaustion and sickness. Rocky is two, and Kolbe is 10 months. I have always heard the saying, "The more sick you are, the healthier baby is". Little did I know what I was in for.

I get called back after 25 minutes in the waiting room (you mommies know what I am talking about) only to have my vitals taken and wait another 15 minutes for a nurse. The nurse comes in and tries to find a heart beat with no success. She assures me that everything is fine and it is still early. She goes to get another nurse who has the same problem. They tell me that my midwife will be coming in to try her luck. After my awesome midwife comes in, I feel a bit at ease, but that lasts only a short time before I get bad news... no heart beat, again. I am beyond scared, trying to put on a brave face, feeling so sad that my husband couldn't be at this appointment (he was watching the rascals and this is one of the first he missed). Everyone leaves the room after my midwife tells me that she is getting the Dr. for an ultrasound.

I was calm and trying to put my mind to rest. I kept on reflecting on God's will. If it was his will that I lose this baby, I could deal with it, I was strong. I got very scared when I texted my parents to have them pray. Putting it writing like that made it all the more real. When my midwife poked her head in after 20 minutes of waiting she asked if I was okay or if I needed anything. I had my happy brave face on. My husband texted wanting to know how everything was going. I told him the situation and told him that I would keep him posted.

After almost an hour of waiting for the doctor, I was able to go to the ultrasound room. The doctor asked if I had anyone with me... then it hit me... I had made plans as to how I was going to walk out of the building through the back so as not to scare or disturb anyone in the waiting room. I was planning to drive somewhere and cry and have my husband drop the kids off and meet me.

He started in and I thought I saw the baby... wait, babies? The doctor told me everything was fine and that both babies were fine. Progressing perfectly, each with their own sac and placenta. I was so happy my babies were fine and so sad my husband had missed seeing them jumping around and moving.

I left and called him immediately. "Everything is fine, but I have to tell you something big"... "No..."... "We are having TWINS". My amazingly stable husband laughed and was so supportive. I thought he would freak out, but I guess three pregnancies in three years will get you used to baby news. I was right.

You see, this whole pregnancy, I was convinced that I was having twins. I was extra sick and tired (everyone blamed it on having two toddlers while being pregnant), but I was also showing VERY early (everyone said that with each new pregnancy, I would show a little sooner). I even told my midwife when she asked if I had any concerns (she looked at me like, "oh honey..."). I just knew.

Now, I talk a lot about my wonderful husband. He is strong, calm, loving, and the greatest father. He is agnostic and has always said that he only wants three. Four is chaos, Theresa, I can't do it. My being Catholic throws a little kink in his plan. I always joked that we would get to the third pregnancy and God would give us twins to prove his existence... seriously?

We have a million worries. How will I continue grad school (which I have to if I want to keep my job)? What type of car will we get? How are we going to afford it all? Does this mean our plan to be out of debt in five is a lost cause?

With all the questions, one thing remains. Our love, paired with God's awesome gift of life... or lives... has awarded us the opportunity to get four souls to heaven, to be selfless in sharing our love for each other with our children, to live a crazy life. I am blessed beyond belief and now I will try to make it to adoration today to praise God for his gifts.